He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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