so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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