The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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