eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
