These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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