I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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