Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
