Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
