woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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