Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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