Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
3pm strippers are depressing
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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