Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
