Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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