dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
