shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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