I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
50% drunk capacity currently
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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