Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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