So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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