your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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