Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
