why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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