Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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