we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
