He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
