why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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