I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
