I'm gonna have a badass scar
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize