K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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