the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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