First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
