toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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