I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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