They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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