I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Farmville is her only friend.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
