so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
