i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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