So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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