also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The power of my boobs compel you
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
