I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
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I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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