I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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