I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
