the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She bit a glass in half.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
