Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
