I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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