she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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