Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
