If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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