did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
