I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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