He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
