Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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