Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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