So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
