HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
