ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize