there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
