yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize