Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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