barbara walters just said penis...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
