Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
